Good lord. Never did I imagine myself a single mom dating at 37. But here I am. And I’m learning a lot, like: divorce sucks no matter how “mutual it is”, dating sucks, Tinder is for hookups, only losers are on Plenty of Fish (in my town anyway–no judgement!), and dating brings out all of my insecurities.
So…this week has a had a few ups and downs. I realized that even if guys say “Not looking for hookups” they are. I had someone unmatch me on Tinder because we did not hook up on the first date. He has since changed his profile to read, “Looking for someone kinda freaky.” OK- Bullet dodged there! I’ve had guys literally stop chatting with me after I say most guys are creeps and want to hook up. (Sorry guys, you’re gonna have to put in some work here.) Of course why would they want to put in the work if they can get “it” anyway without any work? Ok, I get it. Tinder it was fun while it lasted, but I’m over you.
This week I also was taken aback by someone else I met. The conversation goes as follows…
Sketchy guy, “I haven’t seen you in town before or we would be married by now.” um, no. But there’s more. “Why are you single? Seriously. You’re fucking beautiful.” OK, not sure to take that as a compliment or to be offended by that language!? Then..”please let me be the first and last to sweep you off your feet.” It didn’t end there. “Have you ever dated a black guy? Because your going to fall in love with this one.” My reply, “Um we’ll see about that.” Talk about coming on strong! He was really handsome and seemingly into me so I agreed to have 1 drink. Then he just never contacted me again! Even after I agreed to the drink! That’s a lot of freaking lines to just vanish. But now I get the game. They use lines to go fishing for those who will take the bait. I’m not taking it so they move on. You are a loser buddy, and no. Just no.
Then there was the local chiropractor. Seemed pretty nice, I could overlook the full head of grey hair for the right guy. So we chat, and when he asks how I like using the app, I say “lot of creeps, most want hook ups. Not my style.” Silence. Never texted me again! OK, another bullet dodged and I see how this is going.
OK, so if I didn’t learn my lesson last week I’ve learned it now!
I haven’t really thought about dating for a long time. I’m ok on my own. But there is something about human nature that makes you want to be with someone else. My aim of trying to take risks and put myself there so far has not paid off. I’m a pretty confident woman. But I have to admit that having guys stop talking to me and unmatching me (even if they are losers) is a shot to the ego! Who tells you “You’re gonna fall in love with me,” then never calls again? I don’t get it. I have to remember that I need to look for love in the right places–which is not online.
Also this week I realize that being called a ‘yummy mummy’ isn’t necessary a bad thing. Wikipedia a kins it to people like Liz Hurley and Victoria Beckman. Women who have kids but are still hot! So thank you Bryan 18 miles away, I guess I shouldn’t have come down on you so harshly! Oh, I also realized there is a ‘Yummy Mummy’ club in Canada. And if you remember most of my matches are Canadians. Should I join the club?!
OK, people, I need to know if this is just me or this is the experience of all single moms?!
Where have all the cool guys gone??