Everyday should be Mother’s Day

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momHi all.  Sorry for committing the cardinal sin of blogging and going MIA.  This mamma got a new position at work as a marketing consultant and had to say so long to the 4 day work week.  Well, I milked it as long as I could.  And truth be told, my life has gotten a little easier now that the kids are older.  They fight like bandits and the whining makes me drink, but all in all, it does get easier—today anyway! ;)

Well, it’s Mothers Day weekend and I would like to dedicate this blog post to no one other than my mom!  Over the years I’ve wrote a lot about my dad.  Being a daddy’s girl and watching him suffer through cancer treatment.  And I’ve wrote of my mom-in-law, and her own struggle with breast cancer that has come back now in her bones.  And yes, I’ve mentioned my mom on occasion.  Mostly about her “in” abilities in the kitchen and how I blame her for mostly everything in life that has turned out poorly.  But even though she doesn’t have a deathly disease, she deserves to be recognized.

I remember my Grandma Elsie, and what kind of a lady she was.  Even though she passed when I was a young adult, I still have so many great memories of her.  What I remember most from my “Grammy,” is that every single holiday we could always count on some random company being included in our holiday plans.  You see, that was the kind of lady my Grammy was.  She was always giving to others.  If the neighbors had nowhere to go for Christmas, she’d invite them over.  If someone was down on their luck, she’d fill a bag of groceries from her “store room” and give them everything they needed.  If a random stranger she met didn’t have enough money to buy clothes for their newborn, she would knit them clothes.  That was my Grammy.  She would have given the shirt on her back if someone needed it.  I remember asking my mom one Thanksgiving, “who are these strange people here?”  And she would tell me that Grammy always had an open door.  And she would not expect a dime or favor in return.

I miss my Grammy.  I wish I had the chance to learn more from her now that I’m grown.  She was a strong woman with a heart of gold.  The best thing to come from my Grammy-  Is my mom.  My mom is my Grammy’s daughter hands down.  I remember being in high school and my friends and boyfriends would always confide in my mom.  She would talk with them for hours about their issues and never judge, just offer advice to those who needed it.

And over the years, my mom has become more and more like her mom.  During the last few years since my dad’s cancer diagnosis, my mom has put her entire life on hold.  She has been the caregiver for my dad day in and day out.  Never expecting anything in return, just giving unconditionally, like her mom.  I know it’s been rough on my mom, and never how she dreamed she’d spend her much deserved retirement years.  But she doesn’t complain.  She is always there for my dad and for my sister and I.  She loves her 5 grandkids more than anything in the world.  She helps with the kids daily and is involved in every aspect of their lives.

People call my mom everyday to tell her of their problems.  She listens, she empathizes and she offers support and advice.  What does she get out of it?  Nothing.  That’s just my mom.  Always there for anyone who needs her.

My mom is not perfect.  In fact, from about ages 14-18 we had a LOT of conflict.  But never has it become so clear what a wonderful person she is since I myself became a mom.   Suddenly, I realized all she sacrificed for us.  How she committed her entire life to caring for others.  How incredible she was to give us such an amazing childhood.  And now, I love my mom even more.

So in honor of Mother’s Day, I would like to say Thank You, Mom.  Thank you for sacrificing for me and our family, thank you for always being there for me even to this day. And thank you for everything you do for my dad.  I love you so much, mom, and even though I don’t always tell you, you are the person I strive to be.  I hope I, too, can be like you and Grammy and give to others so selflessly.  You are beautiful and smart and the best mom I could ever ask for!  I love you more today than ever and I thank you, mom. Thank you for being you, a beautiful reflection of my Grammy.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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I asked for it.

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th_tiredmomI’ll be the first to admit that caring for little babies did not come naturally to me.  I wasn’t one of those women who as soon as the baby is handed to them they naturally embrace their motherly instinct.  I, on the other hand, was overwhelmed.  Overwhelmed and exhausted.  Breastfeeding was waay harder than I ever expected and I felt like everything I was doing was, well, wrong!

I remember lying in bed exhausted those first couple of months with my first-born.  I SWORE that I would not have another baby, but instead I would adopt an older child, one who knows how to sleep through the night.  A little girl, I thought, from China, at least 3 years old! I could never imagine having a newborn again-ever!

I dreamed of my kids growing older, learning to sleep, and being less dependent on me for every single need.  “Please just get me through these first few months,” I thought.  I dreamt of having older children.

Before I knew it my first born was 3.  Done with diapers and baby food—I felt free.  Suddenly, I had a little buddy, someone to do fun things with!  No more being tied down with packing a diaper bag for a small excursion, now we were free to get up and go.  And all of a sudden I felt like this was the age I born to mother- my “instinct” finally kicked in!

And now my youngest is 3.  I have two “friends” to explore the world with!  Now, rested,  I embrace motherhood!  I play with my kids regularly.  They bring out the best in me and I love them more and more every day.

But lately, I realized, I will never again have a baby.  I no longer need anything from the “baby” section of Target!  No diapers, binky, bottles, baby food, childproofing kits or training potties.  In fact, I can skip over the toddler sections altogether, my kids are officially in the “kids” sections now.  And I must admit there is something sad about not having a baby.

Was I so eager for my kids to grow up that I missed out on enjoying those precious baby moments?  Was I so exhausted that I couldn’t appreciate all their sweetness?  Was I so overwhelmed that I let all the “firsts” just fly by without stopping to acknowledge and remember them?  I’m afraid it may be so, and now, it’s too late.  My babies are now grown, and I won’t have a reason to shop that baby section again—not for myself anyway.

So here’s the moral of the story.  If you are a new mom or dad, yes you are tired. Yes, you are overwhelmed.  Yes, you yearn for the days of no diaper changing or bottles.  But be careful to wish those days away so quickly.  One day, you too, will be looking back and remembering ever so faintly those special times with your babies and how truly blessed you were to hold them in your arms.  One day soon they won’t want your hugs and kisses anymore. They will be more focused on video games or friends than spending time with you.  So before you wish away your baby time, think to the future and remember, it won’t last forever- so embrace the time now and enjoy all the little moments!

Life is not all diamonds and rosé

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vectorart1-love-valentine_hearts-m_bigMarriage is hard.

Today is Valentine’s Day, a day all about love.  Flowers, candy, lingerie, chocolate, balloons, cards..all ways to send love to that special someone.  But I am here to tell you that, in marriage, not all days are diamonds and rosé.  (Thank you Lisa Vanderpump from RHOBH for the words of wisdom).

It’s funny how people think about love; especially those who are single. They envision lustful nights and days spent dreaming of one another.  They envision someone who always agrees with what they say and do, and always understands them.  The think about being cuddled up in bed next to someone who fits perfectly on one side of the bed.  They envision raising kids with shared values and sharing household duties.  They envision love, perfect love.

And love is great!  Possibly the best feeling in the world is connecting and falling in love with someone.  Feeling your entire body flutter with butterflies, counting down the minutes until you can see them again, not wanting to ever leave their side for fear that the bliss you are feeling might possibly go away.  Love is grand- or so they say- but perfect, it is not.

Despite wishing it would last forever, the initial feelings of gitty-ness and lust do fade.  The reality of making joint decisions and splitting holidays between families complicates life.  Struggles with health, employment and finances add incredible stress.

Sometimes I wish we could keep that image of perfect love in our heads forever, without being jaded by cheating lovers and acts of distrust- without having to deal with stress  or struggle.  But that is not reality.

Reality is this.  There is immense joy in falling in love.  There is an even greater joy to finding your life partner.  And the greatest joy of all is starting a family and creating beautiful children that are a combination of the best parts of you both.  And for many people, there are many years that are, in fact, flawless, where you feel invincible to the world.  But for most, somewhere in those good days, there are also hard days.

Remember that marriage is a long, windy road.  And on that road there are speedbumps, forks, lights that highlight your partner flaws, temptations that take your eyes away from the road and an occasional road kill who is sacrificed.  Don’t get behind the wheel without test driving the car.  And don’t think that the highway of life is going to be all beautiful scenery.  But..if you are aware of the bumpy ride, and are committed to maintaining your vehicle and giving it the best care possible, even when it’s not performing the way you want it to, marriage can be the ultimate blessing- even with those hardships along the way.

Whether you’re married, single, divorced or widowed–cheers to you all this Valentine’s Day!

Don’t be Jealy…

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Unknown-1_905Jealousy is part of humor nature.  People that say they’ve “never been jealous” I call Bullshit.  Some might be more jealous than others.  Perhaps someone was wronged by a lover and it’s left them overly suspicious; but within each and every one of us is that part of ourselves that either secretly or openly has had some feelings of jealousy.

One thing that has always bothered me about women is how judgmental they are toward each other.  I mean, we are all in the same place trying to be great moms and struggling with the same issues.  So why do we always judge each other?

A great example of this is the ever-going debate between working moms and stay-at-home moms.  Working moms judge those who don’t work..and stay-at-home moms judge those who do!  The real reason—Jealousy!  Moms who have to go to work everyday, who maybe don’t have choice to stay home, are secretly jealous of moms who get to spend so much time with their kids, not having to worry about contributing financially to their household.  Moms who stay home, have secret resentment toward working moms who get a chance to get away from their kids, indulge in adult conversation and engage in a challenging working environment.

Here’s another example.  A woman has a husband that is extremely hands-on with the kids, and does not object to his wife going out with her friends.  We all judge her.  “She should be home with her kids.” “Doesn’t she even want to spend time with her family?”  In reality—we are JEALOUS!  Why can’t my husband let me go out more often without feeling guilty?!  Lucky bitch has the night off again?  We are jealous!  So don’t hate—just realize that as part of human nature we are designed to feel jealously toward those things we don’t have but wish we did.  It doesn’t make bad people to feel these things..but it does when we start judging.

So next time you find yourself judging a fellow mamma for something she has that you don’t, just remember it’s your ego talking!  She, too, is just trying to maintain sanity while juggling and balancing all the issues of and struggles of motherhood!  Rich or poor, working or at home, blessed with help or struggling to survive—Raise your glass to each other and cheers to us all!!

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Having an ill parent…

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308682_10150417655721602_1564714760_nI was near death this week.  OK, not really, just a bad case of the stomach flu.  UGH.  Stomach flu sucks.  Whether it’s you or your husband or your kids..it’s never fun to experience or watch.  Whenever I get ill I see how it affects my 7-year-old son.  His concern is visible in his eyes.  I can tell he is worried, wondering what’s happening to his mom and why he can’t do anything to make it better.  He checks on me regularly..sweet guy even rubbed my back for me when my muscles ached all over my body.    He stayed by my side last night when I was sick in bed and updated me on what I missed throughout the day.  This morning his first words, “Mommy, are you feeling better?”  Such sweet love.

I, too, know how to it feels to have an ill parent.  As many of you know my dad had cancer.  I say had because since his re-section surgery over 2 years ago he has been cancer free.  And because it seems life does not give us a moment to be at peace, his last CT scan showed an enlarged lymph node that could or could not be the return of the cancer.  We find out tomorrow.

It’s been a rough couple years for my dad.  Recouping from the major surgery took a solid year.  To this day he will never eat or sleep the same.  A year after the cancer surgery my dad had to have open-heart surgery to replace an aortic valve.  Again, not a moment of peace.  Now that his body is healed from the heart surgery, his mind is now occupied with the impeding news of the CT results.

I know that feeling of seeing an ill parent.  That worry that creeps over your entire body because you haven’t a clue what you would do if that person was taken from your life.   That helpless feeling of not being able to fix the problem and make them laugh and smile again..that used to be so easy just looking at your face.  Now there is so much more behind those eyes.  I can see the fear.  I see the fear so clearly that it scares me.  The loss of hope and wondering of the unknown.  Having a conversation but knowing that really he isn’t listening because his mind is so occupied with the unknown, that there is no room for more.

I know the feeling of seeing the person you see as the strongest person in the word tired and weak.  I know the feeling of watching someone’s strong body transform into frailty from cancer and years of toxic medication.  I know the feeling of seeing the person you have always seen as invincible..finally breaking down.  And I know, that it is not easy for a child to see.

So as I lay in my bed last night cuddled up to my daughter’s unicorn pillow pet for comfort, I saw in my sons eyes last night the look that has held me captive for months or maybe even years.  Fear.  Fear that comes with having a ill parent.  Fear that despite your greatest efforts you may not be able to make them better, or make them laugh, or see them get up and play again with that same child-like enjoyment you have.

And while my son can put his fear aside as he returns from school today and see that his mom is feeling better, looking better, and is back to life…my fear will continue.  Until one day soon, hopefully tomorrow, when life will finally give us that moment of peace.

Please take a moment to sent positive thoughts to my dad.  No matter how old I get, I’ll always be a daddy’s girl!

You know you’re a mom when….

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Spongebob-squarepantsHere is a funny list I came up with!  I hope you can all relate!  Please add any others that will make us laugh at all the craziness we all face daily as moms!

 

You know you’re a mom when….

-       You dream about the recipe for the Krabby Patty

-       You spend extra time on the toilet –just to relax

-       You feel it’s ok to lie to your kids if it will get you an extra 5 mins of peace or get them to brush their teeth

-       Shaving your legs is a luxury you just don’t have time for

-       You smell the crotch of kid pants in hopes they can go another round before washing

-       You closely examine the color of poop

-       You get more excited buying things for your kids than for yourself

-       You make up ridiculous songs about random things

-       You fake being asleep in the morning so they leave you alone for 5 minutes

-       Your house is never clean—like ever

-       Your car never stays clean for more than 5 minutes

-       Sitting down to enjoy a meal is only something you get when you pay-up for a babysitter

-       You can recite all the words to the theme song for Phineas and Ferb.

-       You seriously consider purchases from info-mercials like the “wax-vac” in hopes they will magically solve your kids ear infections

-       You have over 30 words to describe your “private parts”

-       You swat randomly into the backseat while driving in hopes you will make contact with whoever is whining

-       Your liquor cabinet never stays full

 

And last but certainly not least….

 

-You love your children so much that there is NOTHING you wouldn’t do to protect them.

The good and the bad

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Good grief..for someone who usually can’t shut up I sure have been quiet lately!  Holidays, family, vaca (holla!) and life have kept me away from blogging for the past few weeks.  Don’t fret!  I’m not going anywhere!  In fact, some great things have been happening for me,and in return, I would like to share them with you-my lovely readers. So…

Let the giveaways begin!  That’s right, you are about to get paid off for your loyal readership because this mom who wines is starting to get product review requests!  They send me the product, I review it on my blog, and you win the prizes!  Don’t worry…I’m not going to be a sellout and start blogging constantly about how great the Stanley Steamer is (no offense, those of you who do that–we all need to make a living).  But I am happy to endorse products I truly believe in! (If only I was the one to invent the genius product?  Hmm…)

Anyway, back to life, because I’ve been laying low on the blogside ( I’m always Facebooking funny stuff so follow me there, too) I thought it might be appropriate to give you a rundown of things I have liked and things I have dis-liked in the past year.

Like:  

Hautelook and Zulily – Finally!  Something other than the boring ole mall with all the usual stores!  These sites have stolen most of my free time but the discounts they offer are SO worth it!  Everyday they feature different brands and HUGE discount prices.  Cute stuff, too!  Great for gifts!  These sites are a must see!

Dislike:

Honey Boo-Boo - Even I like Jersey Shore.  But Honey Boo-Boo..what the hell is wrong with our country that they thrive watching such smut??  Please, save the ratings for decent TV.  Although, even I agree decent TV is few and far between.

Like:

Re-election of Obama –  I won’t go into politics, but let me say for women in America this was a win!

Dislike:

Extreme weather – Heart goes out to all on the East coast that experienced Hurricane Sandy.  I hate to see people I know and love deal with the stress and repercussions of extreme weather .

Like:

Spotify – Great music right at your fingertips.  Download the mobile option and listen to all your favs while you work out!

Dislike:

School violence.  With 2 young children (one in public school) nothing breaks my heart more than the senseless violence that has impacted so many families and children.  I am fully committed to do whatever I can do to help put an end to senseless gun violence.  And I believe it needs to start with the media.  We give so much attention to the bad guys..but no one knows the names of all of those who’s lives were taken.  It’s time to refocus and realize that these villains are thriving on media attention.  It needs to end.

Like:

Real Housewives – Sorry but I can’t get enough!  Beverly Hills, Atlanta, Miami..I’m hooked.  It’s senseless TV that probably kills my braincells..but at the end of the day, when my kids are in bed, and I have a glass of wine in hand, I LIVE for a new episode of housewives!

That’s all for now.  Much more to come.  Stay tuned!

Follow us on Facebook and Twitter and don’t forget I do freelance PR!  Know someone that needs help with social media or online marketing?  Let me know how I can help!

Cheers!

 

 

 

Holiday Diabetes Prevention: Kids Struggling to Stay Fit

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Hi all!  I was recently approached by Carolyn and encouraged to share her article on my blog.  I, too, believe diabetes is a major issue for American children.  I am happy to post her article on my blog!  Thanks for sharing, Carolyn!

 

The holidays offer a warm way to experience family cheer and gratitude for what we have around us. Most of the time, the holidays are often a time to eat lots of yummy foods that we vow to not eat again come New Year’s Resolution time.  However, although sweets (in moderation!) are OK, it’s important, especially during this time of year, to be mindful of the health of our kids.

 

Last month was American Diabetes Month, and up until this year, was not something I paid much attention to. That all changed not too long ago, when one of my little cousins was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes. According to information from St. Joseph’s Hospital Cardiac Center, one in three children today are overweight or obese. Being that obesity and lack of physical activity are the two leading factors of Type II Diabetes, I took it upon myself to work with all of my cousins to lead them towards living a healthier lifestyle. Being that it’s the holidays, it’s even more important now to be aware of prevention tips that we can be using to protect today’s kids from this awful disease!

Diet and Nutritional Values this Holiday

There are tons of treats around the holidays, from cakes and cookies to cheesy fried casseroles and honey-glazed hams. Nutrition is even more important around holidays that celebrate eating together. Children should still be eating proportional, small meals and snacks while carefully following their carbohydrate and glucose intake.

 

Holiday meals should include lots of vegetables, including both starchy and non-starchy vegetables, as well as organic proteins. Healthy sugar sources should include fruit and low sugar content. Parents can look for recipes that combine holiday spices with roast vegetables and nuts, such as butternut squash casserole with leeks, prosciutto and thyme or hot cauliflower puree. Turkey and chicken are great sources of lean protein, but pork and beef sirloin are also types of meat to enjoy.

Holiday Activities for Kids

Families need to get active together around the holidays, but when kids are sedimentary, it’s important to find things to do together that are fun and take their interests to heart.

Holiday Family Play
Why not get kids involved together playing in a dance friendly musical? Kids can decide their own story, practice a routine and come up with a funny holiday theme to express for everyone together. This is a great exercise for young and mature children, while also getting them active and creative.

Santa’s Mysterious Gifts
Kids are always curious about their presents, so indulge that curiosity by holding a scavenger hunt with small gifts, prizes, ornaments, bows, ribbons or other toys that Santa has to find to make Rudolph’s nose glow! You can change up this game in so many ways and you can play it together indoors or outside.

 

Put the Video Games to Good Use!

We all know that kids loooovet their video games, so why not use them to get the kids active? There are many games available nowadays that require physical activity – have a dance competition to Just Dance! Or get a little competitive with Wii Fit and play some sports – a little boys. V. girls anyone?!

 

Carolyn is a 20-something year old with a passion for life, fitness and overall well-being. She is an avid cycler, golfer and has been known to bust some serious moves on the dance floor. Check out Carolyn’s blog at http://fullonfit.blogspot.com/! 

 

I am the Swiffer mom

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You’ve seen the commercials.  The thirty-something mom featured in just about every TV commercial –  Bounty, Swiffer, Pledge, every toy ad – always with a smile on her face, wearing her ‘mom jeans’ with a flannel button down shirt…and shoes that look like Keds.

She has the ‘mom hair-do’, the clean house with the white picket fence and kids that run wild.  Yet, somehow by the end of the commercial, she ends up being relaxed drinking a cup of tea, on some kind of window seat, in the sun.

Recently, I realized,  Iam the middle age Swiffer mom- (minus the relaxing part at the end).

But here’s how the commercial should look.  For one thing, the mom probably shouldn’t be cleaning mid-day.  The days of the stay-at-home moms are few and far between.  Second, why the hell is she smiling?  And wearing jeans?  When I’m home cleaning, I’m in full-on sweats!  I’m not going to risk getting one my “nice shirts” dirty with a bleach spot.  Her hair should be frazzled, it should be night -time and she should be in her sweats with a glass of wine.  This is how we Swiffer these days!  And, btw, we aren’t “laughing” at the kids as they run through the house in their dirty shoes right after we mop.  We yell… then drink more.  :)

It hit me the other day, I was watching TV and every commercial had “the mom.”  -AKA me.  Me –except making cleaning the floors look glorious…in keds…with her hair done, and a never-ending smile on her face.

Ok so being the “Swiffer” mom isn’t all bad.  I do love having a cozy home to call my own and a family to enjoy it with.  I just wonder how many moms out there are really smiling while swiffering mud, drool, stuck on gummy snacks and urine (yes, urine.  If you have a boy you know) off the floor.

Please Swiffer mom, fly into my house during the day when I’m doing my other job (aka working full-time) and clean my floor!

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Mom put WHAT in the goodie bag???

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I live between Seattle and Vancouver and in this neck of the woods, the clearest radio stations are the ones in Canada.  And so, I listen to Canadian radio.  It’s pretty good for the most part.  The downside is when you listen to the Canadian accent everyday, you start to talk like a Canadian.  It’s the price I pay for good music, eh?

Anyway, those crazy Canadians are pretty funny.  On today’s morning show they were talking about a current story.  The story is that a mother of a 7th grade boy put something surprising in the goodie bags she gave out at his birthday party.  What did she put in it, you ask?  She sent all the boys home with…….Condoms.  Yes, condoms.  She felt it was a great opportunity to promote safe sex.  The parents of the boys who received the condoms were not so happy with the party favor.

The two hosts of the morning show were divided on whether or not this was a good idea.  One host was adamant that this was a terrible idea.  That is was not this mother’s duty to promote safe kids to children that are not hers, despite the fact she insists the school is not doing a good of it on their own.  The other host saw it as a good idea.  If they are going to do it, they better be safe.

This is a unique scenario that had me laughing and thinking this morning.  I’m wondering what you all think of this unique party favor of a condom to 7th grade boys?? Please tell us your thoughts!