I’m that girl that had a set plan for life- which I followed to a tee pretty much until recently. My grand plan for life didn’t include a divorce, or shared custody, or being alone, but now I am that girl. I’m that girl that listens to Pink and Kelly Clarkson and Taylor Swift is almost certain their songs were written about a guy who’s wronged me. I’m that girl that thinks every article in the “divorce” section of the Huff Post was written for me. I’m that girl that relates almost too closely to the divorced, single, tired-of-dating mom bloggers out there. Actually, I am a divorced, single, tired-of-dating mom blogger. I’m that girl.
I’m that girl who worked so hard to create a beautiful home for my family—who now has to sell it. I’m that girl—the third wheel when it feels like everyone else in the world is married. I’m that girl who’s too picky and no one I’ve dated seems quite right. I’m also that girl who feels like shit when the one guy I like isn’t into me. But I’m also that girl who gets butterflies and restless excitement meeting someone new.
I’m that girl that some feel sorry for. That girl who has to work extra hours to pay her own way. That girl that has no idea what the future will hold and if I’ll ever fall in love again. But that’s not all I am.
I’m also that girl that has a second chance at finding love- the right love. I’m that girl that gets to make my own rules, watch my own smut TV shows and not worry about pleasing someone else all the time. I’m that girl that realized this wasn’t the life I wanted and was brave enough to make a change. I’m that girl that CAN be alone—unlike so many other women I know. I’m that girl that can support herself and takes pride in doing it. I’m that girl who knows what happiness is and isn’t afraid to go after it! I’m that girl that holds her head high even in the darkest times because I know this is the right decision—no matter how hard it gets.
I’m that girl that won’t settle. The one who will continue to grow and become the person I’ve always wanted to be. And you know what? I’m pretty damn lucky. I’m lucky to be that girl who lives in a country that treats women as equals (even if it doesn’t pay as much). I’m lucky to have a great group of friends who are always there. I’m lucky to have another chance at love, and in the meantime I’m lucky to have time and freedom to get to know myself again.
I’m lucky to be that girl. Don’t feel sorry for me because I’m single. Don’t feel bad for me if I don’t have plans on a Friday night—because it’s usually by choice and sometimes it’s better to chill in my yoga pants with a great TV show and a bottle of wine. But don’t envy my position. If you are lucky enough to have found a great partner you love, trust me, the grass isn’t greener. Eventually I’ll find my super-hot, tall, athletic, confident, successful single man that’s into me and it will be great. But for now, I’m OK being that girl.
(I want to add that my ex is a great man. He has never wronged me or been anything less than admirable. We simply weren’t right together. I am fortunate to have a ton of respect for the father of my children and I know he will always be an awesome dad and a great friend!)